Congratulations, you’re a New Mom!
Hey new mom,
I see you there with the gleam in your eye as you look across the room as they clean up your new bundle of joy.
The first time you held her your world stopped. It was all so surreal.
You never thought that this day would come.
You overcame 9 months of nausea, swollen feet, back aches, worrying about everything, along with the passed hours of contractions that were so severe that you never thought it would end!
But it did and here she is!
She is beautiful!
And from this moment on, your life will never be the same…
Fearful of if you’re ready for this.
If you’re prepared.
If you will be a good mom.
The next two days in the hospital you don’t sleep. You’re too scared she will stop breathing in her sleep, or she will cry and you will sleep through it, or you’re scared of that dreaded thing in the movie where the nurse-who-is-not-actually-a-nurse takes the baby. So you get zero sleep.
But now you get to take her home now. Now it will get easier for sure. You will get her into a schedule, you will get sleep and she will be the best baby. Because that’s what you always said you would have, right? The best baby.
Fast forward a week and you’re at your wits end. You can’t do anything but cry because you feel so overwhelmed. You are doing something wrong, you have to be.
She doesn’t sleep, she seems to be constantly attached at the breast and never seems satisfied with anything.
Your nipples are sore and cracked, your back hurts, you’re starving, you want a shower longer than 5 minutes, you are constantly in PJ’s because what’s the point? So you feel like you look like a pigsty too.
You’re just so exhausted and confused at what you’re doing wrong.
Then you look in the mirror. Where your cute little baby bump was, is now skin. Lots. Of. Skin. You never imagined your body would look so… strange. What is this? Whose body is this? Someone is playing a horrible joke on me. Clearly.
Night is approaching. Yet again. And you pray it will be better. You pray she will somehow just sleep through the night. Or just for 2 hours straight. You pray for 2 hours of sleep. Just. Two. Hours.
It doesn’t happen. She’s up and wants to eat an hour and a half after you put her down. But the doctor said to make her wait 2 hours at least. So what do you do?? She has 30 more minutes. You’ll bounce her, you’ll rock her. You will try everything for the next 30 minutes to let her know it’s okay. That she will be okay. Surely something will work.
It doesn’t. But the thirty minutes are up. You feed her then try to get her back to sleep. You try everything until you finally just let her sleep on your chest because that’s the only way she will be quiet.
Depression is setting in. But is it just because of exhaustion? Who knows.
For a year she may sleep through the night less than a handful of times.
You keep thinking one day it will get better but it seems so far away.
Passed it all…
Passed all those doctors appointments where you are begging the doctor for answers.
Skipping over all those sleepless nights, and passed all those tears shed…
You get to fast-forward 2 years.
& you realize you should have listened to those parenting clichés everyone kept saying.
You should have slowed down a little more. You should have taken it all in.
Because it didn’t last forever.
Brace yourself for this…
Your body will bounce back! For the most part anyways. Who knew?
Though you still won’t look like you did when you were 19 and that’s sometimes a hard pill to swallow.
Your previously stubborn newborn who refused to sleep ever will sleep through the night and so will you!
Bet you didn’t see that one coming!!
Though she refuses naps, but you can deal.
& though you never want to go through what you went through with her for the first year again, you will love her so much! You will love her more and more each and every day. You will miss her being so tiny and you will miss those baby smiles… those baby coos… and sometimes even the baby cries.
They’re louder and sometimes she makes them extra loud and fake.
All you went through, you will be able to look at the smartest little toddler with the biggest imagination and for the most part, the biggest heart and you will smile because you will feel great for simply keeping both of you alive for the passed 2 years.
Believe me, passed all those sleepless nights, lonely feelings, breakdowns, and wanting to run away, it’s worth it.
Even if the thought of ever going through it again makes you want to hide.
In the End
Becoming a new mom can be so overwhelming, so from me to you; drop ANY thought that it will be easy.
Drop those ideas like a hot tamale!! If motherhood is easy, you’re doing something wrong.
Your life isn’t going to look picture perfect.
Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s.
Your story isn’t theirs.
You will be a mess and look like a train-wreck. A lot.
But there will be days your child will make you feel like a beautiful train wreck.
And all those ideas you have of making organic food from scratch for your baby because you will have so much energy to do that, drop it. Just buy the jars in the store. Your life isn’t together enough for all that.
Your life won’t be that Pinterest board you have filled with ideas.
But you know what? That’s okay.
Your child will love you just the way you are.
The Mom Who Gets To Sleep Through The Night. 😉