There are plenty of articles out there downing stay-at-home-moms and I’ve even seen one stating that in Australia, being a stay at home mom to school age children should be illegal. Excuse me, something that I desire should be illegal? Okay then.
Clearly, it’s a misconception that the modern day stay-at-home-mom doesn’t do anything but sit on Facebook. So let’s discuss what us “lazy” stay at home moms do all day.
This post may contain affiliate links, please read the full disclosure for more info.
“It’s not a real job”
Let’s start with this misconception, if it’s not a job, then why does it cost so much to have someone watch your child? Child care (in the U.S. at least) is so expensive. Financial reasons are why a lot of moms choose to stay home.
For our family, to put Little A in a daycare, it would cost more than our house payment! Seriously. It’s ridiculous how much people charge to watch a kid, because it’s difficult!
Seriously though. If it’s not a job, why would it cost so much for someone else to watch them?
“So what do you do all day??”
One of the questions that I literally feel going through everyone’s mind as soon as I say I am a stay at home mom (except for every other weekend).
Well for one, “breaks” are literally non-existent. Like what is that? You are “on call” 24/7 for going to “pee potty” (even at 3am), get a sip of water, kiss booboos, clean up accidents, etc.
Any mom knows the struggle of taking your kids out to try to do any kind of shopping or errand. So imagine having a kid attached to your hip and in tow every time you get in a car. It’s normal for me now after 3 years, so I don’t think much about it. However, when I do think about it, I realize that it used to take literally half the time to get things done that it does now.
Also, the older they get, the more they can and want to do by themselves. Take shopping for instance. Little A now has an obsession with if we go grocery shopping, she has to have her own buggy and do her own shopping. Not only do I have to budget for her wanting to get more than we need, but it also takes a lot longer. But us stay at home moms will do anything to help them learn & grow while we’re on duty (24/7).
Stay at home moms are the teacher
I’m sure all moms have high expectations of their kids. Some send their kids to teachers during the day while they go work. Being a stay at home mom, you are the teacher. In our house, I work very diligently on trying to teach our little something new every day. At the age of 2, she knew all her uppercase letters and could count to 10 as well as could recognize most of the colors. Now she knows all uppercase and lowercase letters, she can recognize some numbers, can recognize some sight words and has a super extensive vocabulary for a three-year-old.
As a stay at home mom, I take my job as her teacher very seriously as do many moms who choose to stay home
specifically to homeschool – which is my hope for us. For now, I guide her to explore, make good eating choices, and include her in as much cooking as she is willing to participate in. She is also expected to help clean up her own messes, which she has gotten pretty good about.
With a three-year-old, these three parts of the job become especially difficult. You clean one spot, the child is messing up 5 other areas of the house.
Try to cook something and they want you to play a game.
Attempt baking something and they cry continuously because you won’t let them eat the batter before it’s done. Then when it is done, they cry because they can’t have it all.
Even though it may take longer and be difficult, I believe stay at home moms have the luxury of having more time to cook better meals for their family. If I have something I want to cook and it’s like an hour or so process, I will do as much as I can of it at lunch (i.e. if I want to marinate it, I’ll start it then) and then start actually cooking between 4:30/5 so at least by 6:30/7 we will be able to eat.
Okay, so no mom is ever successful in this 100% of the time. But I have noticed my sanity slowly dwindle because there are so many tantrums in a short amount of time. This directly relates to depression and anxiety because it makes me feel on edge and stressed out with the loudness and then puts me in a funk where I want to cry because I feel like the “shitty-mom-with-an-out-of-control-kid”.
This is where being a stay at home mom is difficult. You don’t get a break from it. If you kid misbehaves and gives you issues for days or weeks at a time, it becomes SUPER overwhelming and there is no escape. The only relief is bedtime, which can feel like it only lasted like 5 minutes.
Working moms matter too!
None of this is to dis working moms. I think all moms have it difficult. It’s not easy being any kind of mom, period! But I just hope to shed a little light on how being a stay at home mom is more than sitting around in leggings on Facebook all day. Granted, on my really bad days, I may do just that.
It can be a headache dealing with a mini version of yourself all day every day.
I know it’s made me greatly appreciate all my mom did for me if I was as much like Little A as people say.
I mostly love being a stay at home mom. I would never want to have to leave my kid with anyone else and miss out on these younger years – where most of the time, the kid loves you. I’m planning to use these memories to get me through the period of her teenage years where she hates me.
Please keep in mind, a stay at home mom is much more than you think and never make them feel bad for something that makes them happy.
What are your takes on being a stay at home mom?
Have you ever felt bad for being a stay at home mom because of something someone said?
Let me know in the comments below! <3