For 9 months I listened to everyone tell me their horror stories of becoming a mom. I had to listen to everyone give me advice that I’m pretty sure was intended to scare me and it was usually along the lines of “Prepare for no more sleep. Ever”
Becoming a mom, you already know you are in for some big changes. I mean, you will be raising another human!! A real..live HUMAN! So naturally, you will feel some things you have never before felt. Knowing the extent of what you will experience and how you will feel, however, is going to be totally new. Every baby is different, so I don’t care how many people tell you what to do, your baby will naturally have their own personality and none of those things everyone told you about will work. Therefore, you will be sent into a whole new world of emotions you never felt before.
the 4 things I didn’t expect to feel as a mom;
This is a biggie for me. It’s the main reason that I’m a stay-at-home-mom. As stated in a couple other posts, I never intended to be a stay at home mom. I thought I would proceed to work 4/5 days per week as usual just like all the other moms I know. But then I got on social media. Day after day I would come across so many articles about some of the most horrid things being done to toddlers in pre-school. Nope, she’s not going to daycare.
On top of having to worry about what strangers could do to my kid, I also have to worry about what I do.
Do I feed her enough healthy foods? Does she get enough sleep? Does she get enough exercise? Am I too strict? Not strict enough? Do I wash her hair too much?
I don’t want her to hate me when she gets older and has dry hair. – Weird, I know. Who blames their mom for that kind of stuff? But it’s something I worry about.
Then you start to worry about their social life before they can even talk. Wait, will she talk? If she does, will she make friends? Will they be good friends? What if they introduce her to the wrong things?? YIKES!
It’s things that I never in a million years thought I would worry about, but then I became a mom.
Extreme Physical Exhaustion
People warn you that you’ll be tired. They warn you that you’ll get no sleep.
What they don’t tell you is that some days your body will be so tired that it’s hard to get out of bed, but you will get up and nurse your baby anyways. Your body will be so tired that it will physically hurt to even hold your baby, but you will do it anyways. Your legs will tremble when you walk because you haven’t had but approximately 4-6 hours of sleep feels like, all week, but you will stand and rock your baby because it’s the only thing that will calm them.
And it doesn’t stop there. When they begin to crawl, you will be constantly running after them to keep them from knocking something over on them or the floor. Then they walk and you will be making a mad dash like someone is trying to kill you when you see your little running for an open door or staircase. And just when you think, maybe this will be it, they learn to climb. Not just stairs. They climb cribs, entertainment centers, anything they can get their hands on and it’s another mad dash for this or that.
I never thought my body would be so tired, but then I became a mom.
Defeat and Failure
Becoming a mom, you worry if you will fail. However, I was able to convince myself I would be kickass. I had a daughter – she would be so awesome and sleep when I wanted her to, eat what I wanted her to. It would be a breeze.
I’m not sure what fantasy island I was living on, but my daughter quickly kicked my ass off that island within the first week. She never slept. She wanted to nurse every 30-45 minutes, I was sore from head to toe and as stated above, got about 4 hours of sleep per week. I was trying to do it all on my own because she was my kid and it was my job.
Until she made me feel defeated.
The first time, Alexis was about 5 days old and it was 4 in the morning, I went to my mom with tears rolling down my face and a screaming baby in my arms and I asked to help me get her to sleep. I felt like a total failure. I never wanted to ask for help. I wanted to be able to just do it because that’s what I thought happened when you become a mom.
I’ve never felt like such a failure, but then I became a mom.
Being a mom is tough. A lot tougher than I think people anticipate. You can never imagine the love that you will have for your baby until you take that first look at them and you know at that moment, you will do anything for them. I wanted to keep Alexis in her own little bubble and keep her to myself. Forever. But it doesn’t work like that.
However, it’s feeling that tremendous love that makes being a mom so damn rewarding!
I will take having so much fear that it makes my heart stop, being so exhausted that it hurts to even move, or feeling more defeated than I ever have in your entire life just to hear her say “I love you, mommy”.
Nothing on this planet can compare to being called “mom”.
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What is a feeling you never expected to feel as a mom? Leave me a comment below! (: